Precepts
January 7, 2007 | 11:02 AM
Its easy to be a Socialist when you're comfortable.
Liberalism is a fear of taking responsibility to govern.
Republicanism is merely Fascism without the power.
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Calligraphy, Defined
August 8, 2006 | 2:55 PM
calligraphy | cal·lig·ra·phy
Function: noun, Date: 1604
Etymology: French or Greek; French calligraphie, from Greek kalligraphia, from kalli- beautiful (from kallos beauty) + -graphia -graphy
a: artistic, stylized, or elegant handwriting or lettering, b: the art of producing such writing, c: an ornamental line in drawing or paintingfrom merriam-webster
Matt O'Neill's "Calligraphic Works"
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Fun with Craig (in the Worst Taste)
May 22, 2006 | 4:45 PM
Kitten(s) - $25 (palo alto)
Reply to: sale-163609366@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-05-22, 4:09PM PDT
I need kittens, please make sure they aren't bigger than 5" around the belly, otherwise Monty (my python) wont be able to swallow them.thanks!
no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
163609366
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An Ancient Link to Modern Ancient Links
July 13, 2005 | 2:45 PM
I dreamed of a great thing of long ago, before the ice carved our hills and blanched our skins.
A great wave I saw, folding underneath itself myriad golden and black ships. A people dispersed from their narrow land, one half of surviving people to the lands beneath the Andes, the other half to the dreamy Nile.
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Price of Vacant Spaces
March 29, 2005 | 2:28 AM
Expression every full moon has its price
How can something so retentive possess such a huge vacancy?The deeper the colonic, the more poo comes out
Site development thought for the day: "The more efficient the system, the more effective the brand."…tired too have lunch with moo
Tried to have lunch with you --You, or the weather
Too cold to cuddle
Cuddle party moo?
mooThey aren't tears, they're discharges.
The bitter rash and tears of mattress o'neill
Dining on penicillin at lunchtime, how decadent...
Getting that rash seen to?
I've a doctors appt in the afternoon that will eat my lunch time.....I will actually be putting the craving and decadence together for the first time...plenty of each separately.
Maybe it's refreshing to want something like that
Maybe you should wish you wanted more things like that -- the decadence of craving
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Barbie Doll Beats Robert Tonner to Death
January 6, 2005 | 11:58 AM
We were so appaled to hear of Robert Tonner's brutal murder at the hands of a hired Barbie doll hitwoman. This Gigli-esque occasion was the result to the continuing google-bombing of Matt O'Neill's name by sellers of crap dolls and the assorted fetishwear it commands.
Should art always die in the face of vulgar marketing?
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These were just amusing enough
October 18, 2004 | 11:13 AM
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to an indeible, horrible
crisp?Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed considering
what happens next?Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't
he just buy dinner?If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people-trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?Stop singing and read on . . . . .. . . . .
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
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Olympia!
August 13, 2004 | 8:35 AM
If only the well oiled greeks would be in evidence, no longer encased in sponsored neoprene/polystyrene, but in a raw form, fresh from some hillside. Darius and Xerxes never dreamt of the form victory might take, but the world can still dream.
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Superdead
August 6, 2004 | 1:37 AM
Rest in Peace, Rick James
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Row, Row, Row Your Secretarial Spread...
July 20, 2004 | 10:57 AM
I know you wanted to know, there are 65,536 rows in a basic excel spreadsheet.
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Mung
July 20, 2004 | 3:41 AM
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.
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Nudism
July 14, 2004 | 11:55 AM
"The best thing about nudist magazines is that they give you a newfound appreciation for clothing"
--Peter Carlson
thanks Richard for that!
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And then, they tried to take Advantage of Him.
July 13, 2004 | 11:55 AM
Some guys are simply attractive. There's a certain something about a jaw, a shoulder, or a calf--an angular quality that is not the same in women. The curves of the feminine form do find reflection in men, but it is with the hardness of testosterone and the vagaries of muscle that define the curves in an angular sense.
The face is the best example of this sense, where a jawline, sideburns, a nose, eyebrows, and all the features come together to describe masculinity.
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Gmail Sucks
July 7, 2004 | 10:33 AM
Who out there is willing to stand up and say "Gmail sucks!"
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Even the BBC...
July 2, 2004 | 8:17 AM
The value of BBC News has increased manifold after revealing this tantalizing tidbit:
LATEST: Yemen willing to send troops to Iraq under UN mandate - officials. More soon.The British are some fcuked up people.
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Love to Love
July 2, 2004 | 8:16 AM
Would your spirit still love me if I beat you to death on Main Street with a bouquet of dead poppies?
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Colin Farrell's Penis
July 1, 2004 | 9:18 AM
For those of you wondering why they would bother cutting out a full frontal scene with Colin Farrell, can you say release of unrated DVD aftermarket? Hype machine is now engaged.
As for his having being 'fluffed,' can I just say this; "Irishmen are showers, Irishmen are uncut, and Irishmen tend to be rather large, or rather small."
There are also Irishmen who revel in Google bombs.
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Liberonazis Revealed
June 23, 2004 | 8:26 AM
I just love this sort of thing:
To describe this film as dishonest and demagogic would almost be to promote those terms to the level of respectability. To describe this film as a piece of crap would be to run the risk of a discourse that would never again rise above the excremental. To describe it as an exercise in facile crowd-pleasing would be too obvious. Fahrenheit 9/11 is a sinister exercise in moral frivolity, crudely disguised as an exercise in seriousness. It is also a spectacle of abject political cowardice masking itself as a demonstration of "dissenting" bravery.--Christopher Hitchens, in Slate
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Jesus of Fabulous
June 17, 2004 | 6:58 AM
The world is populated with humans, trying to be fabulous--only a very few manage it. I feel fabulous today, though I have to be careful not to overreach, and become a projector of fabulousness, rather than a source a fabulousness.
Come to jesus, ye apostata, for all of christendom became apostate the day the son of g-d ascended unto heaven.
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Come to This
June 15, 2004 | 8:40 AM
How did it come to this, running, heaving my way to the boat, where it lies for a further five minutes; as if in wait for my heart to burst in its overburdened state. Age has crept upon me, and I make my way so happily to my sunlit cove, there to convalesce from the reality of San Francisco.
Oh yes, San Francisco is real, and reality exists here too, albeit somewhat moderated by the mass of sur, un, and other prefixations.
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Just Not That Granola
June 3, 2004 | 7:06 AM
So I take some flack for my homely shoes, but they just aren't that bad, after all.
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Hypocritical Humours
June 3, 2004 | 3:42 AM
I would laugh, but the hypocrisy isn't too funny--and the antisemites in liberal clothing here in the bay area will find it cause enough to ban jews from coming too close to girls or dogs.
A guy in Paris sees a pit bull attacking a toddler. He kills the pit bull and saves the child's life. Reporters swarmed the fellow. "Tell us! What's your name? All Paris will love you! Tomorrow's headline will be: "Parisian Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!" The guy says, "Well, I'm not from Paris." Reporters: "That's OK. Then the whole of France will love you and tomorrow's headline will read: "French Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!" The guy says, "I'm not from France, either." Reporters: "That's OK also. All Europe will love you. Tomorrow's headlines will shout: "European Hero Saves Girl from Vicious Dog!" The guy says, "I'm not from Europe, either." Reporters: "So, where ARE you from?" The guy says, "I'm from Israel..." The next day's headlines read: "Israeli Murders a Dog, Leaves a Girl Bleeding!;" "Israeli Brings Violence to Paris: a Pet is Murdered, Girl Wounded;" "Israeli Attack: One Dead, a Wounded Toddler Rescued."
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Oh Milty!
June 1, 2004 | 7:22 AM
Oh Milty, why didn't you draw blood? Thanks to meddy for the pointrah
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Unbelievable
May 17, 2004 | 4:28 AM
No! I refuse to believe that the CIA would act on anyone's orders so much so as to go and behead an American citizen while in costume to deflate the issue around torturing prisoners.
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Raining Seagull Droppings
May 17, 2004 | 1:23 AM
Those budding involvements, like some oleander that reeks of too much beautiful perfume--to the point of nausea, do envelop me a sense of self that is somehow declining from the fully valuable.
What is a fullness of value? Is it an excess, or the perception of more than expectation would demand?
Would that my eyes simply open. Sitting in coastal cafes, sipping briny drinks, and considering nothing higher than my waistband, I fend off the wildlife and duck for cover under the gull's wings.
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Thoughts Others Thunk for Me
May 14, 2004 | 12:54 PM
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
--Ernst Jan Plugge
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The Coffee Man Cometh
May 14, 2004 | 9:02 AM
I sit in a Starbucks in San Rafael...it is a downtown area, and rather nifty as they go. The barista is so beautiful, with that tinge of boyish cute that comes with Irish pudge and hair. I am adoring him as I wait interminably for the line to move--he's not too smart, it would seem, or else he gets some pleasure from ignoring the pain of his caffeine-addicted audience.
There are so many pretty people out here--with that just so something special in their faces that I find so attractive. I don't know whether it is insanity, inspiration, or just a tan; but there is that certain something that has less to do with traditional ideas about beauty, and more to do with the certain something in the eyes...
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Crisis
May 13, 2004 | 11:09 AM
As a good corporate citizen, it is my responsibility to respond to crises, real or imagined.
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Old Friends
April 29, 2004 | 10:05 AM
The fact that I only have two DVDs, and that one of them I have watched now every night this week, does not mean that the movie gets boring. It is a testament to the moviemaker's craft that it is more enjoyable each time, and has elements that continue to be surprising after several viewings.
This an old friend of mommy's I an't seen in a while...
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Creatures of Love
April 24, 2004 | 7:38 AM
She cares, and she still believes in Michael.
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Compendium Denudiam
April 22, 2004 | 1:57 AM
There's always something to keep the newswires buzzing.
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A Stroms a Brewin'
April 7, 2004 | 3:01 AM
After hearing the announcement that Lil' Kim is going in for some lightening...
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Larouche Jackson
April 5, 2004 | 9:56 AM
Hyperactivism is a singularly western idea, I'm thinking--though of course it does have some extremes in the middle east. The larouchies are out, and their multi-lingual now, screeching about whatever paranoid reflux disease lyndon is suffering today--and he is a man with a seemingly endless gift for both.
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Rude Service
March 22, 2004 | 12:02 PM
There's nothing like being treated badly at Starbuck's to set downwards a day that had been going well.
A new week on the West Coast, and there's energy (and fog) in the air. I am excited, but anxious.
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Beautiful Strange
March 20, 2004 | 1:23 AM
The beautiful stranger...so vague a euphemism for the fleetingness of love, and the inability to keep ourselves from loving what is inherently wrong for us. Or simply relating to a disco maxim.
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Koreans and Volkswagens
March 19, 2004 | 12:50 PM
I live now [last week] in a heavily Korean neighborhood. You should see the parking...the lines appear to have nothing to do with anything. So in keeping with the theme, I park on the grass verges. Can't have anything denting my baby, especially considering all the bullshit I'm doing to afford him.
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What A Way To Waste A Life
March 9, 2004 | 2:49 AM
The ethics of knowingly sending a man to his death, for any reason, beg questions about certain of the 'thou shalt not kill' sort of commandments. To be aware of sin, and do nothing to prevent it, is lacksadaisical at best, and criminal at worst--a slothful indolence about the doings of one's own images.
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All Things Shut Down
January 29, 2004 | 12:11 PM
There are those who complain about the inclement weather we are having. I find it odd that things in the area are so debilitated by a couple of inches of frozen water--it really isn't bad at all, a mere dusting of the landscape.
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Animalistic Losts
January 27, 2004 | 12:06 PM
Maiow, meow...all the night through. Waking from a dream of kitten sausages, and gory sliced pet. The food sits in the bowl with the limp aspect of resignation to a known fate. The animal views it in black and white, a bifocal concentration that brooks no interruption...
...and in the breath taken between, the bowl shines mirror-like in its cleanliness.
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Certain Cellular Conspiracies
January 20, 2004 | 9:08 AM
It's a cellular conspiracy, these messages. They are all created in such an exactly timed manner, that no matter what business you have, the prompts just last that extra second over the minute, so that you are billed for a full extra minute.
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Non Sequitur with Whipped Cream
January 7, 2004 | 4:22 AM
I so wanted to blog today, but the network wasn't working--shucks. At any rate it dissipates some of the rant I might otherwise let loose with, and so you are all the winner.
I am beginning to enjoy this job, funnily enough--the strains it offers are somewhat invigorating when compared with the calculated politics of the office. I am good at calculation, but I much prefer confrontation.
But there's another side to the business, which is the cool people, the fun people. Not those whose rote greetings are easily interrupted by cell-phones or whatever seems more important than the 'servant' in front of you.
My favorites are the fellows (and ladies) who respond with totally inappropriate statements to questions like, "how are you," and "hows it going?" The best is hello, how are you today...small coffee. Or, good afternoon...fine thanks.
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Books Do Max A Credit Card
December 12, 2003 | 2:42 AM
Somehow, in searching for a little inspiration, I exceeded my $15 spending limit by about $70--funny how that always happens.
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Fowlers Reborn
December 5, 2003 | 10:00 AM
Cletus will be happy to note that I have something good to say about Durham, and that is Fowlers. I am sitting with a civilised cappucino, served in civilised porcelain, and enjoying the feel of a purely American perfection, which is the warehouse conversion. Americans are pretty rotten when it comes to Taco Bell interior design and the aesthetic of strip malls, but in their rejuvenated urban spaces, they have emulsified an ecclectic mix of belle epoque and industrial feelings.
Fowlers is located in a conversion just as I describe, with an open corner of veranda and ironwork grills, and filling an open space divided by tiers of massive wood and floored with venerable knotty pine. One is greeted not only by international delights, but by an international clientelle as well--anyone with pretensions to taste must find themselves drawn to the jazzy ambiente and aisles filled with cheesy biscuits and tapenades.
So why do I rave, and give a smarmy little traveloggia? As a searcher for ambience, it is nice to know I don't have to travel too far abroad to find pleasure.
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Detente, Finally
November 28, 2003 | 7:53 AM
Tux and Harry appear to have resolved most of their differences...It helps that they are similar sizes. Its funny, but the puppy is learning 'catty' behaviours from Tux, like pouncing, and scratching while lying on his back. He's a funny one.
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Menagerie Plus Un Chien
November 19, 2003 | 8:17 AM
The household gained another member yesterday, with the adoption of Harry, a terrier pup. Tux is having some issues, but they seem likely enough to resolve them reasonably soon. Now if I can just get Harry to stop giving his opinion of my art by pooping in my atelier.
More pictures here
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Christmas Wish List
November 18, 2003 | 2:07 AM
For those who may visit this site, and simultaneously consider a gift, I have the impertinence to provide this small wish list. Cash donations through paypal are welcome, as are donations of the materials described.
For the purpose of archiving, I use a Prat 142 book in 8.5x11 inch size. It is available through several online stores, including Pearl and Rexart. They cost about $50 each, so I am missing a few (I use them by years). Therefore I am suggesting that anyone with a will to do it might like to help me acquire several more of these books for my files. If you do donate, please be sure to let me know who you are, as thank-you gifts are provided for donors of $10 or more.
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Surround Sounds
November 17, 2003 | 10:42 AM
Yesterday we installed a surround sound system. Tux (our cat) seems to be freaking out with sounds coming from all directions, and for the first time he is actually watching the TV screen. He sits transfixed--I wonder if this means surround sound is good, or bad.
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Scarier Than a Movie
October 28, 2003 | 1:39 AM
If Scary Movie 3 did nothing for me, it certainly changed the way I look at the number 3. It should be the "Son of the Beach" movie, though--as it had no evidence of the Wayans Brothers...what the?
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Hump
October 22, 2003 | 8:39 AM
The midweek has been referred to by some as 'the hump.' I can certainly see the sense in considering a week an uphill/downhill analog. For me it is the time-point wherein I sense my elbow growing sore from too much SimCity. I've been busy using software emulation of XP to play the RushHour expansion, which offers many new road types and transport options to a game that is all about transport, so why, I wonder, is an Apple version not forthcoming?
There are certain things about Durham that are beginning to get on my nerves, but there are still so many reasons to be relaxed here. J and I went to our first neighborhood association meeting last night, and were pleasantly surprised. The calibre of the leadership and the turnout of the membership was excellent. I see myself changing very quickly these days, from the vituperous and frivolous artist, to a boring middle-aged homeowner. The digression is mine!
There are reasons to be pleased by the continuing onset of winter, foremost in my mind is the increasing non viability of capri pants. I could actually find them attractive on a certain kind of body, but sadly, never see them displayed on that form.
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Why Donna Wanna Get Done Like That
October 17, 2003 | 5:38 AM
So I was hanging out with Cher last night when she started talking about weblogs. We all know that people with lives are dying to have the best weblog and blogroll, and Cher is apparently no exception, except that she is depressed 'cause she'll never write a blog as good as Donna's...
Anyway, this cute little list-du-jour excited some comments in my mind, mostly on the "I did all that and then left mom's womby thing," or "now that I am over 30 it is time to do all of yours too..."
Not that I have issues, but so many of you have such a good time, that I wont just sit and bloghump your entries about your favorite new LTRs, but I'll just step in and hump your LTRs too. I guess that means your LTR isn't really an LTR, but more like an interlude between getting fucked by guys like me, or abused by guys like me, or simply mocked by guys like me, and oh yeah, girls can mock you too.
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Kill Bill
October 15, 2003 | 4:07 AM
Quentin Tarantino has outdone himself, the movie is fantastic--pure art and a twisted juxtaposition of american and japanese formulae.
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Familie Erweitert
October 9, 2003 | 8:53 AM
There's someone new at home, someone curious, affectionate, and cuddly.
Tux likes water, silly thing, and tries to get under the tap while I'm shaving--of course hands full of shaving cream make it hard to pick him up and move him, so now there are various bath things all over the floor...tsk tsk kitty.
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Clean-Up
September 19, 2003 | 9:35 AM
The storm has passed, to leave a brilliant blue day, with air cleaned and ionized like a Sharper Image store.
Now I am going to spend some time chopping up the branches and cleaning the yard, so the intellectual pursuit of the blog will suffer somewhat.
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Conservative Values
September 4, 2003 | 12:49 PM
You can always find the root of a conservatives need to control society in their sexual proclivities. I always wonder what kind of mothers Republicans have.
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Ouch.
September 4, 2003 | 9:42 AM
ouch.
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Because You Needed to know
August 15, 2003 | 12:00 PM
The Christian Hanky Codes
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Unexpected Depth
August 6, 2003 | 9:30 AM
Self realization is a great thing, and something respectable. Despite stresses that surface chronically, I feel that there is an important sympathy that should not go ignored--and I use the word sympathy in its truer form, not the pathetic simpering that defines self-righteousness so well.
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They Have A Word for It
August 6, 2003 | 3:46 AM
Do bloggers suffer from gigli?
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There's A Light on in the Castle...
August 6, 2003 | 3:27 AM
There's another website with an unavoidable flash into...
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Casino:Evil State:Moral
August 6, 2003 | 1:44 AM
Here's a very clever article, and useful too.
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A Gap...Agape
August 4, 2003 | 9:20 AM
Why does it seem that those with the least actual connexion to democracy are those that defend it in the most vigorous fashion? You are not yet free, get there!
And there's a problem with the 'it,' in that 'it' is not what 'it' is.
America lied to me, when I was born, and everyday since. Americans deny me, since I was born, and everyday since. Liars. Liars. Liars. And I will be the one vilified, because I don't buy your lie.
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So '93, Appeals to Me
July 24, 2003 | 10:05 AM
I wanna have his baby.
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Oh Don...oh don...
July 24, 2003 | 9:17 AM
Just you try to back-button out of his site, it grabs you now like an over-eager anus, with a vacuum pump!
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Glucose Syrup Solids
July 24, 2003 | 9:07 AM
Thursday has come, rolling around the corner, I get a hint of Friday, and the weekend is an imaginable reality. I find myself living paycheck to paycheck, even now that each week's packet is substantial enough, none of it seems to go into my pocket, but I have to pay 75% of it every month for a year just to pay off my idiot debt. Reminder: leave the card at home, you never need anything you buy, and you buy only because you can--credit is heroin (instant full gratification). But there's a price to be paid, dearies.
So I work each week thinking about the next payment cycle, and watch the balances every day, to see their infinitesimal crawl downward. It makes for a dull life in general.You guys need to blog more and better, I find that I can get through my whole flight's three-cabin service in a day, which is unsatisfactory...I need CONSTANT input. Thank you, you are free to roam about the cabin, but don't cross into a higher class, you potential terrorist! Why else is the 'bomb box' located in coach? Like duh. Its funny, even google is seemingly free of references to the reinforced box that is part of the rear galley of planes, and is designed to hold a small bomb until an emergency landing is effected--the idea being that the bomb, should it explode, would be either; contained, minimally damage the plane--perhaps leading to decompression, only kill a low-fare paying passenger or other random trash.
How we go from Thursday morning to credit to heroin to bombing airliners (see if that phrase doesn't get crawled by carnivore) I don't know, but I guess whoever made the coffee this morning has a clue. To FBI interns who have to read this: It is really boring, and I'm sorry, please don't murder me or my family for saying things against Nero.
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Speechless
July 23, 2003 | 3:37 AM
The 2001 Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair was held on April 16th and great fun was had by all in attendance. Fellowship is proud to be host to one of the largest Creation Science Fairs in the country, this year we had over 200 students present their projects. This is also the first year that Muslim students from the Al-Jannah Islamic school have been invited to participate; two of their students presented a project on human anatomy entitled "Allah (SWT) Created Me" which, while it was found ineligible for a prize due to a number of Biblical inconsistencies, did win a special Interfaith Outreach ribbon.
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Good Heavens Above...
July 22, 2003 | 10:06 AM
Thanks Don for the pointer, sorry to 'bloghump.' This reads like a fucking joke...here it is in its < pun >unadulterated< /pun > (thanks to biologic for the 'pun tag') form:
"10 Reasons to join The Christian Singles Info-exchange," click continue reading for the list...
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Viva La Evolucion
July 21, 2003 | 12:22 PM
To tease those who understand...
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Terminator 3
July 18, 2003 | 4:09 AM
I went and saw this movie...
She was...
He had...
this scene...
...and that was the substance of it.
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Society is Finished
July 17, 2003 | 12:30 PM
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Montaigne on the Penis
July 10, 2003 | 10:07 AM
Of The Force Of Imagination of Montaigne's Essays
(John Florio's translation).
[lifted from edifying spectacle]Men have reason to checke the indocile libertie of this member, for so importunately insinuating himselfe when we have no need of him, and so importunately, or as I may say impertinently failing, at what time we have most need of him; and so imperiously contesting by his authority with our will, refusing with such fiercenes and obstinacie our solicitations both mentall and manuall. Neverthelesse if a man inasmuch as he doth gormandize and devour his rebellion, and drawes a triall by his condemnation, would pay me for to plead his cause, I would peradventure make other of our members to be suspected to have (in envy of his importance, and sweetnesse of his use) devised this imposture, and framed this set quarrell against him. and by some malicious complot armed the world against him, enviously charging him alone with a fault common to them all. For I referre to your thought, whether there be any one particular part of our body that doth not sometimes refuse her particular operation to our will and wish, and that doth not often exercise and practise against our will. All of them have their proper passions, which without any leave of ours doe either awaken or lull them asleepe. How often doe the forced motions and changes of our faces witnesse the secretest and most lurking thoughts we have, and bewray them to by-standers? The same cause that doth animate this member, doth also, unwitting to us, embolden our heart, our lungs, and our pulses. The sight of a pleasing object, reflecting imperceptibly on us, the flame of a contagiou s or aguish emotion. Is there nought besides these muscles and veines, that rise and fall without the consent, not only of our will, but also of our thought?
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OMG II
July 9, 2003 | 11:56 AM
Okay, thanks to enrt1, I 'accidentally' linked on Mean Mr Mustard--and gosh, i thought I was a ranter...I can't even hold a blowtorch to that...
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That Toungue Less Tied
July 9, 2003 | 9:43 AM
Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue
--Francois de la Rochefoucald
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OMG III
July 9, 2003 | 2:17 AM
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June Was a Great Month
July 8, 2003 | 4:06 AM
For 'Hits:' 24,929
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The Fecund Floor, Corn Alchoholic
June 30, 2003 | 8:28 AM
Let me tell a story of lust. Picture a valley between high hills, with a narrow stream and cold fogs. Picture a factory with a tall, thick stack and small town below. You have the town in mind, and can extrapolate the denizens, those factory-workers, administrators, and the providers of services thereunto--in the town.
More than this is too revolting.
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Gender Irrelevant
June 27, 2003 | 9:30 AM
I hope you'll appreciate the care I have continually taken to make my blog comfortable (applicable) to all--references to sex being moderated, or obviated. In despite of my rants on the female perceived proclivities, I welcome them, and hope they'll wash my dishes when done reading--if they were taught to read, which may be a mistake too...
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Modulation, Mannequin
June 27, 2003 | 5:49 AM
I am beginning to lose the energy necessary to maintain that 'false' self that is the one that stays employed...
...why is it seemingly correct to exclude people on the basis that they don't value the work more than their life?
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Assholes
June 25, 2003 | 7:06 AM
It is always an amusement of mine to watch how people behave. One of those behaviours I have found to be noticeable lately, is the 'asshole' who defies the monichre by making the accusation.
We all know the one, the insufferable 'cool' person who regals with stories of his/her prowess in whatever. This is the kind of person that rapes young convicts in prison, not out of love, but out of fear that if it isn't done, someone else will do it either to him/her, or to the object of his/her attentions, thus diminishing the appearance of power.
There is more simplicity in this, it has nothing to do with prison life--at all. It has to do with everyday life, irrespective of the point of view of the Wachowski Brothers. Certain personalities seem to find any personality-type other than their own to be slightly errant, somehow 'less optimal.' Dissention with the norm is asshole, being outside the norm is asshole. Its a funny thing, but kind of sad, because what is happening is mild demagoguery, i.e. taking the people in the vicinity, and forcing them into agreement--the fear-factor being the monichre 'asshole.'
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Lyrics with that "Something Special"
June 24, 2003 | 2:02 AM
Thank you for being a friend,
Travel down the road and back again,
Your heart is true,
you're a pal and a confidant
And if you threw a party,
invited everyone you knew,
You would see
the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for being a friend
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Smell-O-Vision
June 23, 2003 | 9:23 AM
Do you think that a pile of human poop on the moon would have any smell?
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Emblem of Actuality
June 23, 2003 | 2:37 AM
I award myself this prise, griping on though I gripe, always--I do!
Inevitable and inventive, my, high on the symbol--do!
Garrulous and enhanced, clothed in gabardine, wrinkled, only skin--mine!
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Semblance of Reality
June 23, 2003 | 2:33 AM
a thing is and a isn't.
is a thing?and it is; being a thing: is a thing, what it is, what it isnt, and what it is supposed to be
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Can we Just Murder these People Already?
June 20, 2003 | 8:16 AM
In celebration of the manipulation of public 'opinion.' I present this link
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Democracy, or Cult of Personality?
June 20, 2003 | 8:13 AM
Can someone please disappear Aung San Suu Kyi already? I am so sick of this bitch getting all the attention.
Democracy is crap anyway, and only works when everyone is happy buggering each other.
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Excerpta Poignante
June 20, 2003 | 8:11 AM
Judge Robert Sweet said: "It is not the place of the law to protect them against their own excesses."
So true. When will American'ts take R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y for themselves? Fucking fat, stupid bitches. Gawd, I need a drink and a cigarette.
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Islam, Sophistry in Ideology
June 18, 2003 | 12:14 PM
From a religious advice column in Arab News (an English-language daily newspaper in Saudi Arabia), 5-9-03: "(Question:) A person feels very uncomfortable during prayers because he gets recurrent thoughts that he might have discharged wind (during the prayers, and thus) invalidated the ablution." "And it is all without sound or smell." "(Answer:) (A) wind discharge is ascertained by sound or smell. If neither is present, then no wind discharge has taken place (and therefore the ablution has not been invalidated)." [Arab News, 5-9-03]
source: News of the Wierd
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Comment Whore
June 18, 2003 | 11:44 AM
I have decided on my new profession, at least for a half-day...
...I am going to become a comment whore, visiting all the blogs I can find, and posting banal and pointless comments in their most immediately provocative (or most commented-upon) entries, not because I want to share a thought, but because it allows me to post a link to my own website.
Hear me, hear me, hear me!
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La Vida E Bella
June 18, 2003 | 1:21 AM
This is just too beautiful
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Goodbye Miss Macao
June 17, 2003 | 7:52 AM
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New Favorite Search Term
June 17, 2003 | 1:31 AM
"el salvadors car traffic"
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Look What Happened
June 15, 2003 | 5:05 AM
Look what happened to my blog, it has become a repsoitory of stupidity. Look at me, my soul has become the place of repose for accreted stupidity, equally. Years and years of living around hateful people, and I have allowed myself to become...
...I went to see the matrix last night. At Union Station. It was predictable (for those who know the cinema at Union Station.
...It reminds me of Chris Rock. Except that the 'niggers' and the 'blacks' were now ten-years on...the problem isn't race, it is asocialism...born of a lack of love. These children are screaming for love and attention, and it hurts my heart to see the piteous spectacle.
The world is much bigger than just these United States, and people are more varied than you'll ever know. You are just a person.
My thought at this point is garbled because I have heard some great ideas from men like Richard Prior, Dave Chappelle, and others, on the subject of racism.
The point is that America is a fantastic country. We confront our problems, and despite the horror and failure, we continue to look for goodness, for happiness, and even if we fail to reach the high ideals we set for ourselves, the ideals are high, and we try.
Race strips the individual of individuality.
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WMD
June 12, 2003 | 7:59 AM
Weapons of Mass Destruction found in Iraq!
---Dateline Thursday, June 12th, 2003
In a surprise development today, the Pentagon has announced that weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq...actually living in Iraq--yes, the Iraqi people have been declared WMDs by the DOD.
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Save Martha!
June 6, 2003 | 12:47 PM
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Stolen Humour
June 5, 2003 | 8:24 AM
Kids say the darndest things:
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
- "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married."
- Freddie, aged 6HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
- "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
- Derek, aged 8WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
- "On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
- Martin, aged 9WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
- "When they're rich."
- Pam, aged 7IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
- "I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out."
- Theo, aged 8- "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them."
- Anita, aged 9HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
- "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."
- Ricky, aged 10
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statement, future legend
June 5, 2003 | 1:56 AM
Ashton Kutcher is one of the most singularly unattractive people.
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Der Fickstute
June 4, 2003 | 12:38 PM
"Der Fickstute" is my hero. He provides various accessibility to various body parts at pertinent times.
Thanks to Biologic Blog for the pointer.
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I Would Claim Him...
May 22, 2003 | 7:09 AM
For the story, click here
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Redneck Sodomite
May 19, 2003 | 1:27 AM
I had set-up another blog for those wandering mental states when I need to verbalize frustrations of sexuality, or of self, in terms of feeling somewhat fringy...
The separate blog allowed people to choose whether they want to read that sort of thing or not.
But on further refelction, all my issues are so much a part of my reality that it isn't quite honest to separate it from my daily maunderings.
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The E-mail I Always Dreamed of
May 16, 2003 | 11:22 AM
This message is not flagged. [ Flag Message - Mark as Unread ]
From: vshyy@mail.com | This is not spam | Add to Address Book,
To: Friends@
Subject: re: your bowel issues rdu
Date: Thu, 15 May 2003 23:47:00 -0400beenatanna
Let me ask you this...which is worse:A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.
B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.
A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.
Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won't need false teeth and Fixodent down the road...right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.
But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?
Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD's AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I'm not kidding...
This subject is not even up for debate. It's a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don't be one of them.
vlpmwvd****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.
Let's talk stools.
The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it's dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that's not good. And don't feel bad, that's the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it's full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We're talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.
When you do the cleanse, for the first few days....things are a little weird. But you know you're cleansed when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.
Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. No need to change your current diet. Its also very economical at under $52. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.
People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.
At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you're ready to do something about cleaning it out.
Want more info? Click here and I'll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. It is private, all natural, totally safe, inexpensive, and very effective. And yes, I have taken it myself.
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Delivered in non-descript packaging.
Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.MoreInfo@ProtectYourHealth.org?subject=MoreInfoPlease
Remove@ProtectYourHealth.org?subject=PleaseRemove
beenatanna@yahoo.com
3639595Please do not 'reply' to this email as we might not see your message.
Please use the links above.
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Hennes + Mauritz
May 14, 2003 | 10:12 AM
A new store and a long credit line...hmmm. HMmmm
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Another Theft of Intelligence
May 14, 2003 | 1:36 AM
Napstered like Rosa Park's Name...can I be a hero for being a rude asshole?
---1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
4. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
7. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
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Three Gorgeous
May 6, 2003 | 1:02 AM
Okay, let's relax, nobody is trying to make a connexion between the contruction of the Three Gorges Dam and the emergence of the virus SARS.
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Al Jazeera TV Guide
April 17, 2003 | 11:52 AM
This highly insensitive and offensive Al Jazeera TV Guide is stolen from biologic show, and is stolen courtesy of Ctrl C and Ctrl V. It has caused much laughter, and if you are honestly offended, get the fuck off my damn blog, bitch.
SUNDAY:
0800 - My 33 Sons
0830 - Osama Knows Best
0930 - The Kabul Hillbillies
1000 - Let's Mecca DealMONDAY:
0800 - Husseinfeld
0900 - Mad About Everything
0930 - Monday Night Stoning
1030 - Allah McBealTUESDAY:
0800 - Wheel of Terror
0830 - The Price Is Right If Saddam Says It's Right
0900 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darndest Things
0930 - Taliban's Wackiest Public ExecutionsWEDNESDAY:
0800 - Tales from the Koran
0830 - When Kurds Attack
0900 - Two Guys, an Imam, and a Pita Bread
0930 - Just Shoot EveryoneTHURSDAY:
0800 - This Old Cave
0830 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
0930 - Married with 139 Children
1000 - Eye for an Eye Witness NewsFRIDAY:
0830 - Who's Koran Is It Anyway?
0900 - Teletalibans
1000 - Camel 54, Where Are You?
1200 - Beat The PressSATURDAY:
0800 - Judge Jihad
0830 - Suddenly Sanctions
0900 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire?
1000 - No-Witness News
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G-Online
April 14, 2003 | 12:07 PM
Stolen "Cellie" rings in vagina, by Vivian Tyson
Pandemonium broke out at a shopping mall in Negril on Monday, when a cellular phone which was stolen from a female shopper was found after it rang from within another shopper's vagina. Some bystanders were amused over the happenings, but some chided the young woman for sinking so low that she even embarrassed other women.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/30237.html
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June 4, 1939
April 6, 2003 | 7:50 AM
After already having been turned away by Cuba, the SS St. Louis is also denied permission to land in Florida. So it is forced to return to Europe with its cargo of 963 Jewish refugees, most of whom will later die in Nazi concentration camps.
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Uebung
April 3, 2003 | 9:55 AM
Als Uebung einer unerarbeitete Sprache steht >>blogging<< recht haendlich vor.
Je pense qu'il y a une bonne mot, et une bon passage entre le monde actuelle et le monde en moi tete.
U kunt wel zien dat ik Frans niet alle so goed spreeken kunnen. Ook Nederlands evenso.
O Blogging dá a saída melhor para as piores emissões...
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Links establish relationships
March 8, 2003 | 2:05 AM
Thanks to all who stop by and take the time to read something from this site. I have a section to the right titled 'webloggers as plats du jour' which allows you to check out the blogs of some of my correspondents, whose views and ideas have somehow connected with my own.
I also highly recommend the book, "The Light of Other Days," by Steven Baxter and Arthur C. Clark, which deals with a form of interpersonal relations somewhat similar - though certainly more empowered than - these 'blogs.'
To speak, to be heard, to listen, is to understand, and to improve. The enhancement of mankind stems from the enhancements of many 'selves,' one increment at a time.
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Rain, rain, go away, come again...
March 6, 2003 | 10:13 AM
...and again, and again. I am strangely susceptible to my environment, in a way that carries no logical weight. What does it profit me, to allow this paltry existence to gratify, to console, to mock, and to debase my persona?
What resides in my mind, that inhibits thought while inhabiting the thought-center...am I my own parasite?
Hexed
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O M G
March 4, 2003 | 3:16 AM
Hello People, I am exhibiting at CyberStop currently, please check it out!
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Blah, Blah, Blog
February 4, 2003 | 1:11 AM
damals, als ich noch schoen war...und bin ich noch das gleiche maedel wie frueher?
There's a certain amount of problematica associable with blogging. Why bother, when there's so much crap out there anyway? Why assume that anyone wants to read this shit?
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